


my heartbeat (intertwined with yours)

by thangam



Series: Marvel Bingo 2019 [15]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Fake Character Death, Healthy Relationships, Heavy Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Not Really Character Death, POV Steve Rogers, Pet Names, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony, Protective Tony Stark, Retirement, Silver Fox Tony Stark, Sleepy Cuddles, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, is actually dead?, nope - Freeform, our bois just need a life of peace at this point, sorta - Freeform, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21824281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thangam/pseuds/thangam
Summary: “Hey, sweetheart,” Tony says, and he’s smiling even though the concern is etched into every pore and crevice on his face. “You okay?”Steve slumps back down. Just what he needs, hallucinations to keep his distress ongoing and constant because Tony is gone and he’s not coming back.(sq: under a spell)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Marvel Bingo 2019 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1341598
Comments: 13
Kudos: 264
Collections: Marvel Bingo 2019





	my heartbeat (intertwined with yours)

**Author's Note:**

“Hey, sweetheart,” Tony says, and he’s smiling even though the concern is etched into every pore and crevice on his face. “You okay?”

Steve slumps back down and puts a pillow over his head. Just what he needs, hallucinations to keep his distress ongoing and constant because Tony is gone and he’s not coming back. Steve’s not gonna get any more sleepy mornings with Tony plastered to his back and keeping him from doing anything. Date nights where Tony will say something complete unfunny, and he’ll laugh so hard it’ll feel like his stomach is bruising. Hell, he’ll even miss their fights, the ones where they’ll both shout things they don’t mean and have mind-blowing sex later. He muffles a sob badly and doesn’t bother to stop the tears. 

There’s no one to impress anyway.

“Steve?” a hand lands on his shoulder, and he shoves the hand weakly away, pressing his face back into the sheets that still smelled a little bit like Tony’s cologne, woodsy and heavy. It makes the tears flow faster. “Baby, you’re scaring me.”

“Stop it,” he mumbles pathetically. “You’re not real, I know, because-because Tony’s dead, oh  _ God _ .” His breaths are starting to get erratic, and belatedly he wonders if he’s dying.

He doesn’t think he’d mind very much if he was. 

“What? Stevie, I’m not dead, I promise, c’mon, you know that’ not true, they just put a spell on me, babe, I know.” 

Steve couldn’t breathe. He felt Tony take his hand and press it to his chest; he could feel a steady thump underneath his hand, strong and sure. His chest was rising and falling unwaveringly. “To-Tony,” he croaked, but Tony hushed him with a brief brush of his lips against his tear-streaked cheek. 

“Don’t you worry about that, you just concentrate on breathing.”

He felt his breath come back to him and he sighed, keeping a sob from escaping, and Tony crawled into his arms. He pressed his face to Tony’s messy curls, still crying as Tony ran soothing arms up and down his back. “Oh, sweetheart.” Tony was starting to sound choked up too, and Steve buried his head in Tony’s chest and ignored it when the fabric became wet and tacky. He ran desperate hands over Tony back and shoulders, rucking his shirt up to feel the warmth emanating directly from Tony’s warm skin. 

“Shit,” Tony muttered above him, and Steve froze before rising up so fast he almost knocked Tony in the chin with his head. 

“You’re okay,” he said, breath coming fast and panicky all over again. “You’re-you’re not hurt, please, they--”

“They barely touched me, Steve,” Tony said softly, and Steve leaned into Tony’s hand when he cupped his cheek. “Here, you wanna check?” Tony arched up just far enough to get his shirt off, and Steve ran quick hands over his back and chest, checking for bruises, bumps, and cuts that Tony might’ve ignored. “No bumps, baby, nothing.”

When his husband opened his arms welcomingly, Steve lied down shakily right back on top of Tony even though Tony’s own face was pink with tears. “Tony,” he said, his tongue curling around the name and what it brought, soft mornings and hugs coming to mind. “Tony.”

“Yeah, sweetheart.” Tony tipped up his chin for a kiss, and Steve melted, letting Tony control which way he went, whimpering as Tony pulled away to kiss his forehead and turn them both on their side. “Sleep, sweetheart, we’ve both had a scare today.”

“I don’t think I could go on without you,” Steve said into the silence and pulled Tony closer, tucking him under his chin so that Tony was snuggled safe, warm, secure in his arms. “I couldn’t Tony, you can’t-you can’t.”

“You could, Steve,” Tony said, and Steve felt Tony press a soft kiss to his collarbone and Steve just hauled him closer, as if he could let Tony curl safe in his heart, always with him and always loved. “I know you don’t want to, and I don’t want to make you or put you in a situation like that, but you could baby.”

Steve shook his head. 

“You could,” Tony said, leaning up, and Steve looked at honey-brown eyes, committing them to memory. “I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t have to, but we both work in some of the most dangerous jobs in the world. Steve--”

“I don't wanna talk about it.” Steve could barely understand himself through the thick of tears with how his voice trembled. “I’ve lost everything once already, I can’t do it again--”

“You won’t be alone, honey,” Tony crooned, and he felt calloused palms wipe away tears, and he turned his head to press a kiss to Tony’s palm. “You’ll have the team, and Pepper and Rhodey, they’d take care of you, baby. You have to try to move on sweetheart. I just want you to be happy.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Yeah you can,” Tony snuggled closer into him, and Steve ran slow hands up and over his back, relishing the warmth and the feeling of familiar scars and marks under his palms. “You’re Steve Rogers, baby, the best man in the world.” Tony looked up to give him a smile, and Steve is blown away--for the millionth time--how beautiful he is. “And not just as Captain America.”

“BUt--”

“You are so much more than the shield.”

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Steve confessed, biting his lip as the shame rolled over him. “I know I should, I owe it to everyone to protect--”

“You've’ been protecting the rest of us since the forties sweetheart, it’s okay if you want to stop fighting, baby.” Tony rolled over and straddled him, and Steve put reflexive hands over Tony’s waist. “It’s okay to be tired.”

“I’m so tired of fighting,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I’m so  _ tired  _ of not knowing what’s gonna happen when we get called into action and sitting in hospital rooms and waiting.”

Tony bit his lip. “I was--before I was thinking about retiring,” he admitted in a rush, and Steve’s breath caught in his chest. “I think--I think its time I take a step back,” he said, laughing nervously, running his finger through salt and pepper hair. “I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t think my heart can take much more of this.”

“Okay?” Steve whispered. “We can--We can retire,” he said slowly, smiling and meeting Tony’s eyes. “I get to spend the rest of my life with you in  _ peace _ .”

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Tony said choked. “We can, we can sleep in at the next alarm, and, and--”

“Never have to sit through another boring debriefing again.” Steve finished excitedly. “I love you,” he said softly.

“Love you too, snookums.”

Of course Tony had to end a moment so sweet with a name like snookums. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! if you enjoyed it, didn't enjoy it, just want to say hello or tell me to tag something, be sure to leave a comment.
> 
> hmu on tumblr [@thxngam](https://thxngam.tumblr.com/)! please please please send me prompts and you can follow for some content that I might not put on here!


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